Bad Pancakes Are Bad

Bad.

My marketing professor in college sometimes talked about the late food critic, Doreen Fernandez. One day, he told our class about how all her reviews of local restaurants seemed to be positive. "Don't you ever eat at bad restaurants?", he once asked her. "Well yes,", she replied. "I just never write about them."

I guess that is the most upstanding thing to do, and I'm no food critic, but I guess someday I'll reach the wise old age of enlightened, let-bad-restaurants-die-out-on-their-own thinking. I've eaten in so many places since I began writing this blog, many of them good. But I often get the urge to write about only those off the street, or the bad ones. So this is a bad one, and it's about bad pancakes.


Bad.

And it begins on the beach of Boracay, where I told myself, "tomorrow I'm having pancakes for breakfast". My most common encounter with them are in one hotel buffet or another, and I often bypass them, occasionally for their brother, the waffle, but often for something a bit more savory. This is because they are always less than stellar, and their "maple-flavored syrup" is too 80s (bad 80s).

But we had a pineapple-mint shake and a pot de crème at Lemoni Cafe the day before, and I spied "coconut pancake" or something, and I decided, I shall have that for breakfast, and maybe a bit of yogurt. Nothing will get in your way if you feel like this, you know?

So I got up a bit early, did some exercise, and went to Lemoni Cafe to order it. It tasted suspiciously like an egg with some flour in it. Did you cook this in a pan after making an omelette? I asked them. No, they wash all their pans after each use. Did you accidentally drop egg whites in it? No, no, that's really how we do it, one egg per pancake. Well, anyway.


Exhibit A: pancake itself.

And so I failed to finish my serving, which was very flat, quite tough, and very yellow, with no taste of coconut at all. As I try to form some kind of polite protest, a fly actually lands on my plate, walks onto the syrup, struggles a little, and just instantly dies in the sticky mess. The waitress stares at this and awkwardly finishes her sentence and leaves, pretending nothing happened. I stare bewildered at the fly and thought about how similar we were, lured by sweet-smelling pancake adjectives, in a similar manner, only he/she probably has bionic sensory things, and I'm just a schmuck who reads menus. The only thing was I felt good to be more than a thousand times larger than a fly, with legs and opposable thumbs and the will to go for what we all know is that second meal, the one you always have after a bad meal to feel a bit better and get the taste out of your mouth.

Lemoni Cafe
D'Mall
Boracay

Almond Jelly Soothes the Belly

Their jelly is great, and comes with ice and a cherry, like a fancy sago drink.

I don't have a clue what almond jelly is made of. Are there real almonds in it at all? Hmm. I don't know, but at certain times of the day, I really don't care.

Chinese food is always nice after drinking. You can always get vegetables. The dishes are oily enough to soothe your stomach, not as heavy as Western food, and always tasty. Furthermore, Chinese places area always bright and snap you back into reality.

Thank you, Hap Chan, for providing reliable garlic-filled meals during ungodly hours of the morning.

Hap Chan Neptune Branch
103 Neptune Street, Bel Air Village
Makati City
(+632) 895-9340
(I have no idea how to get here by myself, sorry I can't give directions)

Chariya's Thai Kitchen

Thai halo-halo, with coconut milk, those wormy things, and jackfruit.

If you ever find yourself wandering along Nicanor Garcia St. (more commonly known by its former name, Reposo), walk down a bit further than the galleries. Cross over Kalayaan St., and you'll stumble upon a small restaurant that will satisfy your tri-color curry cravings.


Red chicken curry with very little veggies in it.

Chariya's just opened last August 31st and is probably looking to replicate the buzz generated a few years ago by Som's Noodle House, a then-great Thai-on-the-cheap "secret" of Makati. While the food is definitely not the best Thai out there, it's reasonably tasty and a good departure from grilleries and Italian restaurants in the less central areas of Makati. I wonder if this was the same Chariya's from 168 Shopping Mall?


Long live King Bhumibol, past tense of Bhumibibol.

The place is clean, with very pale yellow walls adorned by pictures of beloved Thai king. The servers, of course, wear yellow. The tables are, thankfully, not (entirely) yellow, but made of tile with patterns on them. Live sweet basil plants sit on the end of each, and we munched on their leaves. Remember that you must leave 80% of any plant intact, so don't get carried away.


Patterns on the table.


The selection of "Simply Delicious Thai's Foods".

The menu is nothing different, with regular things like red-green-yellow curry, spring rolls, the coconut-milk-based desserts, and salads.


Yellow vegetable curry.

The menu is nothing different, with regular things like red-green-yellow curry, spring rolls, the coconut-milk-based desserts, and salads.

Chariya's Thai Kitchen
Nicanor Garcia St., Makati City
MRT Station: Buendia
Walk or take a jeep along Gil Puyat Ave. (formerly Buendia)
Take a right at Nicanor Garcia St. (formerly Reposo)
Keep walking past St. Andrew's Church
Cross Kalayaan, pass Cafe Maestro and Cucina Reposo

Nana Meng's vs. Starbucks Hot Suckolate

I get my regular chocolate fix at Nana Meng's Tsokolate, where I usually order this lovely and rich little serving.

Packed with dark chocolate goodness, the very thick tsokolate e! comes in a small demi cup (a shot, if you may) for 60 pesos. This is roughly the price of a large taza of the other less concentrated varieties, such as tsokolate a! (what are those bizarre names?), and cashew and peanut variations. They are all pretty amazing. I usually take my own mascobado sugar with me.

Two days ago, a photography gig took me (quite early in the day) to a faraway place where there was only Starbucks to provide me with my legal stimulant needs. Somehow I was fooled by the fancy Hear music into ordering a cup of hot chocolate for 100 pesos. The server asked me if I wanted the special "Starbucks Signature Hot Chocolate". What was the difference, I asked, between this and the regular sort? Well, this was darker, and richer, I was told.

Well, Starubucks execs, I propose you rename it "Swiss Miss Delite". It's so soulless, thinnish and sickly sweet that I had to chuck the crap into the basurahan after drinking less than half of it. I am officially scandalized by the kind of cocoa perpetuated by this large coffee chain. It simply does not compare.


Home sweet home for this rubbish!

Nana Meng's Tsokolate
3rd Floor (near cinema escalator)
Glorietta 4, Makati
MRT Station: Ayala
Walk straight towards Glorietta from Ayala Station

Balance in Food

India cured me of my deep-fried food aversion. Shaking off horrible imagery of American fried everything (and accompanying obesity), I soon got into the rhythm of seeing the logic behind meals and condiments. A valuable lesson: Internalizing a cuisine's nuances and philosophies teaches you that if it has evolved over time, it usually has balancing mechanisms that are built in. Respect these measures and enjoy life.

The aforementioned subcontinent has a myriad of spices to help you digest oily samosa, thick stews, and all sorts of fritters. Filipino killer Ilocos empanada has a corresponding impressively sour vinegar to cut the fat. Heavy German sausages have great German beer to help them along. Japanese tempura often has sauce that you must dunk radish in (and we all know that the root helps your body process fats).


Kakiage or vegetable tempura at Hana Restaurant at Little Tokyo.

So, in moderate amounts, eat what is seemingly bad (or maligned by a scientific study that studies it in isolation and doesn't throw in the accompaniments). If you throw in the wisdom of a culture, it should turn out fine. Don't forget that in the old days, oil and sugar and whatnot were not so plentiful, thus not everyday fare but somewhat special.

Here are some more photos from a recent trek to Makati's Little Tokyo:


Waking from siesta by the entrance.


Waking from siesta too.


Stoking for yakiniku.


Sky versus them.

Little Tokyo
2277 Chino Roces Avenue, Makati
MRT Station: Magallanes
Walk down Chino Roces Avenue to Arnaiz Avenue, turn left and watch out for Makati Cinema Square. Little Tokyo is between Chino Roces Avenue and Amorsolo.
MRT Station: Ayala
Walk to Arnaiz Avenue, keep walking away from EDSA. Watch out for Makati Cinema Square. Little Tokyo is between Chino Roces Avenue and Amorsolo.

Good Flowers and Weird Food

The rose has achieved global domination through centuries of symbolism and dripping poetry. There is an amazing irrationality to its ubiquity (along with the truckloads of chemicals needed to grow it in tropical countries).

That's why spontaneous little arrangements with who-would've-thought flowers like these are so encouraging:


Caballero, lantana, and other common flowers in a centerpiece at Daluyon Resort, Puerto Princesa.

Seeing these things pushes us to create small celebrations everyday! So set out a bowl of boganvilla or calachuchi on your table now, and all the time.

However, the same restaurant doesn't carry this practice over onto its food, as it served me a horrible dish, which was hilarious on several levels.

It was made with corn and mushrooms and carefully placed on a bed of lettuce. Nothing was grown locally, nothing spoke of the location. The funny part comes when you realize that you are about to eat actual pieces of white bread that have been cut into squares and made to look fancy. Couldn't they have made it a baked or deep-fried very thinly sliced kamote or something? It was also drizzled with some kind of really thick dressing.



The food was insanely expensive, maybe 200 to 300 pesos per dish, for pretty substandard ingredients. I was very much aghast. Just one tip for the owners: just because something is arranged on a bed of something, in a small serving, piled one layer atop another, and drizzled with something, doesn't mean it will taste good.

Funny.

Daluyon Beach and Mountain Resort
Sabang Beach, Puerto Princesa
(+63927) 316 5513

Ka Lui

Mango-pomelo shake. Score!

When I'm in the province, I usually veer away from restaurants that seat more than twenty people. Such places usually eschew the amazing diversity in Philippine vegetables and go with the ubiquitous and horrible chopsuey that has invaded our islands. Because the vegetables used in them (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, etc.) are more expensive, they are presumed to be more "high class" than the lowland pinakbet sort. It is sad indeed, and I have spent many sad nights sipping sugary mango shake while dreaming of something other than a mediocre cornstarch-laden excuse for a meal.

Life is good, then, when you discover a place like Ka Lui in the heart of a small city like Puerto Princesa.

Ka Lui is named after its owner Lui (Ka is an appellation that Filipinos use when referring to an elder, from the word kapatid or sibling). Everyone who's been there will, without fail, mention something like "I love the ambiance". It's all bamboo and wood, with native and natural decor. It's all tastefully thrown together, and the end-result is different from all the other places informed by their island-ness.

As you enter, you are asked to remove your shoes. Be sure to put them somewhere conspicuous-- as the place gets packed, footwear accumulates at the entrance! Inside are areas where you can eat from the floor, as well as plenty regular tables. The staff is extremely attentive and well-trained.

Ka Lui serves only seafood and vegetables, with no processed sweets and softdrinks. Only recently did they start producing printed menus for their diners. Ah! Seasonal peepz! A good indicator of a good restaurant.


Suka (vinegar) and toyo (soy sauce) at the table.

I first had the lato salad. When I was a child, I thought that these "grapes of the sea" were octopus eggs and regarded them with a sort of awe and fear. They turned out to be Caulerpa racemosa, a seaweed with little sacs that don't taste like grapes at all, but are pretty much filled with seawater. Eating them is all about texture and consistency-- they pop in your mouth like caviar! The usual vinegar or calamansi dressing complements the salty nature of lato.


Nobody should ever miss a chance to eat fresh lato.

Next I had pako or fern tops sauteed in garlic, ginger, and peppers. This was surprisingly flavorful. What a simple dish!


Gingery pako.

The highlight for me, though, was the ridiculously delicious mango-pomelo shake. A good departure from the regular mango version, this is something I'll try at home very soon. A slice of ginger in the blender would render this drink as perfect.

Dessert was fresh fruits served inside a buko or coconut shell, and sprinkled with mascobado sugar. You can scrape the meat out of the coconut and eat it, if you're not full to the point of indigestion yet.

Ka Lui
369 Rizal Avenue, Puerto Princesa, Palawan
(+6348) 433 2580

A Culty Meal at D'Christ Canteen

Strange eating.

On the road from El Nido to Puerto Princesa. The scenery is beautiful, but eight hours inside a suspension-less bus (on worn cushion seats) can never be completely fantastic without some food and stretching in between.

D'Christ Canteen (and don't forget the "Food Haus" in parentheses to further clarify the nature of the establishment) looked quite a bit extensively decorated for a roadside food stop.


The entrance to D'Christ has a Chinese folding ornament and a curtain of wooden beads.


Colors drape the ceiling and a flowery "Welcome" looks on you as you order.


Happy dogs in a wheelbarrow thinking "Happy Dogs!!".

Where do I start? As you mull over the fairly typical food selection, you will probably wonder a bit about the carinderia's name. But religious persons are so common in the Philippines, especially in the province, that you don't spend much time on the thought. But the nagging elements persist in the background of your mind (just like the excessively colorful decor calls out from corner of your eye).

(Rob and I shared a plate, my side containing the standard pinakbet and his, some kare-kare. It was good and cheap.)


Sitaw and kalabasa in the pinakbet. I like drinking out of old Nescafe jars.

On your way out you'll spot a laminated piece of plastic finally explaining the unusual vibe in the place. Apparently, the yellow sign outlines a prayer revealed by "Father Lahi, the ultimate teacher of the final salvation and the author of this ultimate round the clock red priority great warrior power password". It is for the use of the church of "Back to Christ Royal Family in the 7th Millenium".


Click on the photo to read the whole prayer.

The prayer goes on to talk about how Jesus saves us from all dangers such as earthquakes, fire, lightning, flood, storms, tidal waves, smoke poison and sudden death. It's a pretty engaging read.

So you'll get back on the bus wondering if there is some weird energy in your food. You wonder if Father Lahi was serving your meals. All sorts of people round here indeed.

D'Christ Canteen (Food Haus)
Barangay Maoyon, Puerto Princesa, Palawan

Jayakarta Restaurant and More Sub-Regional Reminders

If you are Filipino and homefoodsick abroad, perhaps an Indonesian restaurant can satisfy your hankering. There is a great one in Berkeley, California that might be worth a visit for you.

My lola, tita, and nanay and me were in high spirits upon entering Jayakarta on our "girls' day out". We continued to be semi-rowdy and happily pointed out the familiarly named offerings in this Indonesian-Singaporean joint (our lumpia= their lumpia, siomai=siomay, pansit=pangsit, kropek=krupuk, kangkong=kangkong, togue=toge).



Everything we had was exceptionally tasty-- from the lumpia semarang (Indonesian spring rolls, $3.95) to the oseng-oseng tempe (stir fried fermented soy cakes with string beans, $6.95) to the bubur ketan hitam (sweet black sticky rice with coconut milk, $4.25).





The ingredients used are similar to those in Filipino food, except less tinged with colonial influence, and more use of spices (and sugar). It is just baffling how little I know about Indonesian food, and how little of it I have eaten. Not to mention how I never even try to make it, given the ingredients are readily available. I have taken some immediate steps to remedy this.

I sincerely believe that diving deeper into our Southeast Asian heritage can help us discover ways to maximize our local crops (and have good, cheap food) and re-discover parts of our food culture. Finding common strands is a really fun and satisfying thing to do.

Jayakarta
2026 University Avenue
(Between Milvia St. and Shattuck Avenue)
Berkeley, CA
(+1510) 841 0884
BART Station: Downtown Berkeley

Palangke Eats and Etc.

One recent early morning, we ended up at the palengke (market) near the church of Anilao in Mabini, Batangas. I bought pinipig and some vegetables. And then, lured by campy 80s music, we decided to sit down for a post-breakfast snack at Robren's, one of the eateries bordering the wet market.

I had bulanglang, which is basically boiled vegetables of different sorts. It was only Php20 and pretty good. The okra, squash, and young papaya were all firm. However, I could taste the slight use of cubes in the broth-- MSG bombs, in other words. Ah, well, I enjoyed it anyway.



Rob had that Batangas specialty, lomi. It's basically a noodle soup with egg and pork in it. This one was strange. It was really sticky and goopy, with chicharon, ground beef and hotdog (!) on top. It was only Php25, and it seemed people flocked to Robren's Eatery to have it. Rob said it was pretty tasty, but was way too thick. I guess they put too much cornstarch.



In the palengke restroom, you have to leave your shoes outside and wear these wooden slippers so the floor doesn't get all dirty. This is because, like many provincial Filipino banyos, they like to keep the floor wet all the time to keep it clean. I figured this out too late, and by then my slippers had left mud marks all over. Ay!



Isn't it cute how the dots on this sign are little plates with spoons and forks?

Fely J's Kitchen

Fely J's Kitchen is a new place in Greenbelt 5 that serves Filipino and Asian food. It takes some menu items from everyone's favorite Abe. (Both places are named after the parents of late restaurateur Larry J. Cruz.)

Anyhow, we started off with four pieces of soft tofu with crab fat (which I removed) and drizzled with sesame oil (Php225), served on those Chinese soup spoons. This was pretty tasty! I think I will try to recreate them somethime. Then we had a typical Abe meal of rice (Php55 each) and veggies in coconut milk sans shrimp (Php245).



Moving on to dessert. The bayabas or guava pie (Php115) was indeed "nicer than apple pie", with the fruit still firm and in surprisingly large cubes. The gula melaka (Php85) was tasty and just the right amount of sweetness, but a bit too goopy (soggy?).

It was all very satisfying-- nothing stellar, though. I think I prefer Abe for some reason. Maybe it's the atmosphere (more consistent and Capampangan) and the great outfits they have.

The night ended in some pondering about why LJC opted to create a whole new place, instead of putting up another Abe, given that the latter lends a ton of items to the former's menu anyway.

The meal came up to around Php850 for two people who ordered vegetarian. I guess it comes out to way more for meat-eaters. The general verdict is that you can get better value for money elsewhere-- Abe, to be specific!

Fely J's Kitchen
Greenbelt 5, Makati
(+632) 728 8858 / (+632) 728 8878
MRT Sation: Ayala
Walk across SM, Glorietta and Landmark into Greenbelt 5

Buchi, My Old Friend

I grew up a fan of buchi. Before knowing what cholesterol was, I was forever stuffing my face with these deep-fried, sesame-covered globs of sticky balls. There was something irresistible about the popping little seeds, the crispy exterior of the glutinous rice wall (and its equally chewy interior), and the soft, sweet bean filling. However...

When I was a wee lass of eight, I tagged along with an uncle to the divey Chinese joint Mr. Ho Tsin Ho Noodle House in Manila. It was around midnight, a very scandalous hour for a little girl to be awake, but the motivation was that he would treat me to anything I wanted, in any quantity I pleased.

Not being a fan of other Chinese food in general, and exhibiting early signs of the satiate-yourself-sick behavior I still occasionally manifest, I ordered a disgusting amount of buchi platters. After consuming them all, my young palate came to know the horrible sensation of extreme nausea due to excessive unctuousness. I abandoned buchi for more than a decade.

Only recently have I been brave enough to try them again, emboldened by my streak of oily street food adventures in India. Even so, I make sure I dab the whole ball in tissue, and have hot water or tea around to counter the bad vibes and regret.

However, I have found one buchi that is surprisingly light, and beats all the greasy SF Chinatown contenders. Asian Pearl in Millbrae makes them well, with only around US$ 5 for 6 pieces-- still more expensive than the US$ 1.40-for-3 Chinatown deals, but way more edible. In fact, I had three of them without gagging. They are just the right sweetness and delicious!

If you're coming from SF, you have to ride a BART down to Millbrae and take a SamTrans bus or walk down El Camino. The restaurant is super-popular among the Chinese set, and get packed during weekends. We've never bothered to have a sit-down dinner, but we get the buchi to go.

Asian Pearl Peninsula Chinese Restaurant
1671 El Camino Real
Millbrae, CA
(+1650) 616 8288
BART Station: Millbrae